Instagram Lady / by Paluna Santamaria

Beautiful lady,

Your body is beautiful for the way it looks but more so for the way it moves. Why are you flexing on Instagram? 

When I look at you, I want to think you are a wonderfully talented individual, but all I see is you abs. Why are you posing half naked on Instagram? 

That picture of your ass, where you said “hard work is paying off” didn't really show me you were working at all, it showed you have a nice big ass. 

Is that what you were trying to tell everyone on Instagram? 

I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. I'm trying to understand your need to show me each part of your body from different angles. I won't lie. Your body is nice. Although I wish looking at it had the same effect on me that watching a beautiful dance has. Sadly it doesn't. 

Why are you putting your hand near your crotch as though you were about to masturbate on Instagram?

I posted a picture of my steak and fries earlier on. I wanted you to know it was delicious. I wanted you to imagine the smell, the texture, the pleasure I got from eating it, and maybe encourage you to try it.

Is that what you are doing with your body on Instagram? 

Beautiful lady, 

I'm sure your lover, your mother and your closest friends are taken by your beauty. 

Gosh, everyone including myself think you are stunning!

Do you think you are stunning too? Do you want us to tell you so more often? 

Are the likes we are giving you enough? 

I want to understand you and accept you but I'm feeling like un-following you.

Dear beautiful lady, 

If you decide to remove yourself from the meat catalogue. I would love to see you pop on my newsfeed.

Until then, I'll be here, wondering why are you flexing on Instagram, again...